How to Cope with a New Diagnosis of Major Depression

I can clearly recall the feelings I had as we exited from the highway onto the last stretch of the drive to the psychiatrist's office on the day of my first visit. I was 45 years old; it was January 4, 2011; and the sun was shining. As my husband made the last turn into the medical complex, my eyes filled with tears and I began to cry. The reality had set in: I was seeing a psychiatrist today. How had it come to this? I was someone who had started businesses, managed my own companies, and as a registered nurse cared for so many others with depression. As I rode now in the passenger seat, I realized how weakened I had become and how dependent I already was on my husband to manage my care.

My visit with the doctor was pleasant but at times unnerving. I was told to choose any seat I felt comfortable in as I entered his office. As we discussed everything from my family history to my current support systems, medications and interests, the doctor listened intently and took copious notes. I told my story as tears streamed down my cheeks, and I wept. I told the doctor about the intrusive or bad thoughts I had two weeks before. With my husband in the room at the end of my visit the doctor diagnosed me with Major Depression and stated that I was in the middle of a moderate to severe depressive episode. He further stated that because I have a history of depression I will most likely experience bouts of Major Depression throughout my life. The doctor cautioned both of us about suicide precautions, gave me new prescriptions for medications, and scheduled a follow-up appointment.

The whole experience was somewhat surreal to me. Major Depression. Suicide Precautions. And what seemed to me the worst part of it all, the idea that episodes of depression as severe as what I was currently experiencing could occur throughout my lifetime. This to me was a very unsettling thought. I had been comfortable with my prior diagnosis of Depression, but somehow this new diagnosis of Major Depression really separated me from my peers and others around me. I understood that I was mentally ill and was now to begin a new chapter in my life with my own character significantly changed.

In the days and weeks that followed my diagnosis of Major Depression I was able to remain at home in the care of my family. Because we own our businesses I was able to have a very flexible work schedule and really limit my work commitments. Work, which had formerly meant managing 2 companies and 20 employees, was now reduced to about two hours per day of whatever I felt I could accomplish. Still, I recognized that it was important to continue to go to work as it gave my days a sense of purpose and me a sense of accomplishment.

I also evaluated every commitment I had that was not necessary. I resigned from some committees and took leaves of absence from others. I made a tough decision to withdraw as facilitator from a local support group. These decisions were painful to me in the short-term, but also somewhat liberating as I no longer had to worry about the stress of preparing - or not being able to prepare or attend - the necessary meetings and functions.

When I was diagnosed with Major Depression it was overwhelming to me to think of calling my parents or siblings. Talking about my illness with anyone other than my husband and children seemed unbearable. To bare my emotions for everyone when I knew they were already so worried about me was unthinkable to me.

I understand now that my depression has isolated me and kept me from my family and friends. My family and friends love me dearly whether I am happy or sad, laughing or crying. Though it took a few weeks for me to come to this realization, I now call or visit my family and friends regardless of the possibility of showing my emotions.

As I limited my commitments I also changed in the type of commitments and activities I involved myself in. In the early days after my diagnosis I crocheted simple one hour projects at home. Small dishcloths can be made quickly and easily and give a great sense of accomplishment. At the same time, the activity is captivating and allows the mind to rest. I took up cross-stitching as a new hobby that could easily be brought with me in the car or even to work for a break when I needed an emotional escape.

By far one of the most important aspects of coping with a new diagnosis of Major Depression is to follow the treatment plan. Treatment may include talk therapy (counseling), antidepressant medications, and, at times, hospitalization. Depending on the severity of the symptoms it is important to make sure that anyone suffering with Major Depression does not have an opportunity to hurt themself.  Suicide is a risk of Major Depression, but it does not happen that often.  90% of the time Major Depression can be successfully treatment with medication and talk therapy. 

Antidepressant medications may take several weeks to achieve their full effect (have an improvement on mood).  This may make it challenging to remain on the medication while waiting for the effect to occur.  Then, once the mood changes and improves, the depressed person may feel they no longer need the medication.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Just as someone with high blood pressure needs high blood pressure medication everyday, the person with depression needs antidepressant medication everyday.  It's that simple. 

Talk therapy may be short-term in nature and only needed in periods of crisis or it may be on-going for life to manage the risks of recurrence of Major Depressive Episodes.  Talk therapy teaches valuable strategies for coping with stressors, changing perceptions, and developing a positive self-care plan.  Medication, talk therapy and psychiatric care together can successfully help those with Major Depression recover.

Almost six weeks after my diagnosis of Major Depression I am beginning to feel better. I still have some tearful days, but I have more good days than bad. I have had additional hardships come my way while trying to recover which has made it more difficult, but I am recovering. I am not the strong person I once was, and I don't know if I will ever be that person again. At the same time, I don't know if I want to be that person again. I have a milder spirit now, much more gentle. There are parts of this new person that I like more than the old. As I continue my own treatment plan and recovery, I am beginning to look forward to the days ahead when I know what it is like to feel "normal" again. Already I have a new appreciation for sweet everyday peace.